It’s the classic unwinnable scenario.
If you come forward, what he did is ignored. Instead, it becomes about what you did to cause it. Or what you didn’t do about it.
It’s all about his future. Yours is ignored. You’re just looking for attention. His future will be ruined.
So you say nothing. The aftermath isn’t worth it. Nothing is going to be done anyway and it will only make things worse on yourself.
Besides, maybe you don’t want to talk about it. Maybe you think you have just have the fortitude to “get over it.” So you move on and keep it to yourself.
Until the incident comes back again and again, in different, subtle ways, throughout your life. Maybe you can cope–but you can never forget.
Until, you decide the time has come. Maybe you just feel you need to not carry the secret anymore. Maybe you see that he’s in a position to harm someone else and you can’t let that happen. Maybe he’s coming into a position of power over others and the character of the man must be known..
So you finally speak.
But why did you wait so long?
If it were me, I would have said something when it happened.
You’re obviously lying.
You’re just looking for attention.
That was so long ago, surely it doesn’t matter now?
What about his life, his reputation? Have you thought about that?
Like the Kobayashi Maru, the situation is unwinnable. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. He’s innocent until proven guilty, so you must be guilty.
The only way to win the Kobayashi Maru, is the to change the parameters of the scenario. Turn the tables and not play the game by the rules. Do not accept the norms. Speak truth to power. Stand tall and firm in the face of adversity. Gather your allies and all the coping mechanisms you can and be no one’s pawn. Live long…and prosper.