The Spiral of Funk

My name is Shedrick and I am a slug.

I have been an extreme slacker on the writing front since about mid-December.  There are many reasons for this: the holidays, post-holiday blues, new WoW expansion, struggles with my current story, busy day-job schedule, new Blue-Ray player, constant story rejections…

Blah-blah-blah-bla-blah-blah-BLAH!

The fact is, I haven’t put my butt in a seat and typed out some words for nearly a month and a half (well, except for one blog post at the beginning of the month…but still…). 

I love writing.  I really do.  But getting myself to sit down and DO IT is a constant struggle.  I think I have something to offer but I need to practice to get better so that other people might remotely be interested in reading it. 

The quest to become a better writer inspired me to join the DFW Writer’s Workshop last year.  But I’ve been slacking on that as well.  Because I haven’t been writing, I’d tell myself to use that time to actually put some words on a page.  But then I wouldn’t.  And then I’d feel like a heel.  The next week would come and I’d say “I should go to writer’s group!” and my mind would say “Why? You haven’t been writing…you’ll be taking and not giving.”  Chagrined, I’d stay home…and still not write.  Rinse and repeat.

So last night I girded my loins went to my writer’s group.  It was the first meeting I’ve attended since December…and it was great! I heard some good writing, lots of advice, and was even told my absence was noticed–which felt great!  A big recharge.

So now I sit, once again wanting to write something IMPORTANT.  Something GREAT.  And I blog…which is writing, but not really moving toward my goal of being a PUBLISHED AUTHOR. 

So maybe I need to reexamine my writing goals.  Maybe, right now, my goal should be to create stories I enjoy.  To put words to digital paper.  To find my “voice”.  If I come up with something for the markets, great!  If I write something just for my friends that I feel good about, that’s great too. 

But, like the proverbial economist, I have many hands.  By taking this attitude, am I really just giving up on my dreams? Am I just acknowledging my failure and trying to put a positive spin on it?  And is there anything wrong with that?

I don’t know the answer to any of these questions.  I guess that’s what the journey is about; figuring out the answers and falling on my face a lot along the way.  All I know is that I’ve got to write.  Otherwise, I’ll spiral myself into a funk the likes of which I’ve never experienced.  I know myself too well to believe otherwise.  So if simplifying my goals gets my butt in the writer’s seat, it’ll be worth it.

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About Shedrick

I am a professional librarian and a part-time writer that's working to do that the other way around. I currently live in North Texas in the lovely city of Denton (“The Home of Happiness“) with my lovely wife and the obligatory demon-spawn cats. When not writing, gaming, or watching cheezy kung-fu flicks, I can sometimes be found in a pub (or the American equivalent) enjoying a fine brew.
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